Looking for 100 questions to ask your spouse? Whether you want to build a deeper connection, improve your intimacy, get to know your partner better, or you just want to pass the time on a road trip, this huge list of questions for couples can help you!
If you’ve been married for over a decade, or if you’ve been with your partner for a handful of years, then you may feel like you’ve run out of things to talk about.
You already know each other’s favorite ice cream flavor, and you’ve already discussed your family trees. You know how to make each other feel loved, and you’ve discussed how each of you prefer to spend date night.
So maybe the conversations are now very surface-level. Like, “Will the kids’ soccer game get rained out this weekend?” or “Who is picking up the dry cleaning?”.
Yup, mundane conversation can lead to feelings of boredom in marriage, or even worse, the feeling that your partner just doesn’t care enough to seek out your opinion or to truly understand you.
Hopes, dreams, worries, insecurities… you should talk about it all! And this huge list of 100 questions for couples can help!
Why You Should Ask Your Spouse Questions
Asking questions shows that your relationship is a priority.
How do you feel when someone asks you a deep question to really understand your feelings or your point of view? You probably feel valued by that person, because he or she is taking the time to truly get to know you.
Time is probably your biggest asset, and when you choose to spend your time having meaningful conversations with your spouse, it shows that you’re putting your relationship high on your list of priorities.
Talking about new things opens the lines of communication.
So many times in marriage the conversation is fixed on:
- How was work today?
- What’s going on with the kids?
- What do we have to do this weekend?
- What are we having for dinner?
Or worse… maybe you don’t talk at all because you’re not sure what to talk about.
Crickets.
If there’s one thing that my husband and I have mastered over the last 17+ years of our marriage, it’s communication. We’re comfortable discussing anything, even the topics that are difficult. We can truly confide in one another, and we’re not afraid to call each other out (in a nice way) when needed.
That’s largely because we spent so many of the early years in our relationship talking about everything you could possibly imagine.
And asking your husband questions like these can help you improve your communication with your partner as well, because you don’t have to fumble for what to say next… let the list of questions guide your conversation, and you’ll eventually get to the point that you’re more comfortable discussing a wide variety of topics.
Asking these questions for couples keeps things fresh.
Asking your partner some of these questions can help you learn more about each other, including how you can be a better wife and improve your marriage. And you’ll probably even learn some things about your spouse that you never knew before… even if you’ve been married for decades!
These couples’ questions are a great way to have a little fun with each other, even if you’re just sitting on the couch on a casual Tuesday night.
*By the way, if you want another fun questions idea to use with your spouse, check out my Not So Newlywed Game questions (like the one below)! This printable game is a fantastic way to spend an at-home date night with your hubby, or to play with a group of friends!
Ideas for Using the 100 Questions for Couples
Wondering how to use these couples questions? Here are a few ideas:
- Tuck the list of questions in your purse and bring them out when you’re on a dinner date.
- Use the questions to pass the time on a road trip.
- Each of you draw 20 of the question cards at random and play “20 Questions” for a stay at home date night.
- Draw one question each night when you get in bed, and use it as “pillow talk”.
- Pick one question to answer each night while you’re in the shower… Yup, my husband and I take a shower together every single night, and it has done wonders for our marriage.
- Make a “Pick a Question” Jar. Print the list of questions for couples at the end of this post, cut them out, and glue them to large craft sticks for a fun game when you have 10 minutes here or there.
*You can use the printable list of questions down below to make a Conversation Starters Jar, similar to this awesome Date Jar that I made for my husband!
You can use these questions for couples pretty much any time that you have quality time alone.
What You SHOULD DO When You Ask Your Spouse Questions
Be supportive.
Some of these questions are tough. Don’t get into an argument if your spouse doesn’t answer a question the way that you want him to. That’s not the point of these questions to ask your spouse.
If you’re not supportive, your husband will probably close off and start giving superficial answers just to make you happy.
Have fun.
Yes, some of the questions are meant to strengthen your relationship and help you learn about your husband’s preferences in your marriage. But some of them are just FUN.
Use these questions to reminisce and take a walk down memory lane. And have fun discovering new things about each other… like what was his favorite Halloween costume as a child?
Put down the cell phones!
Nothing kills a good conversation like a cell phone. So make sure yours is out of reach when you start these questions to ask your spouse.
If you’re focused on your phone, or if you keep picking it up to check if you have any new Facebook notifications, then your husband will feel like he’s not your priority. And the quality of your conversation will suffer.
In fact, according to sociologist Sherry Turkle,
“Eighty-nine percent of Americans say that during their last social interaction, they took out a phone, and 82 percent said that it deteriorated the conversation they were in. “
Greater Good Magazine
Don’t let your cell phone be a road block to a great conversation with your husband.
What You SHOULD NOT DO When Asking Your Spouse these Questions
Get defensive.
You may talk about things that are personal, like what you do that drives your partner absolutely batty, but don’t get defensive. Remember this… he still LOVES you. Just like I still love my husband dearly even though he pees on the toilet seat and throws the occasional cup of ice cold water on me while I’m in the shower.
Lose focus.
Don’t think about what’s for dinner, or how you can’t wait to turn on the TV later and catch up on The Bachelor. Focus on these questions to ask your husband to reconnect so that you have a more meaningful conversation. Plus, you’ll probably learn lots of helpful things that can improve your marriage like how to make your husband feel more loved.
*Be sure to check out this post for more deep conversation topics: 90 Meaningful Conversation Starters for Couples to Connect
100 Questions to Ask Your Spouse or Partner
Okay, without further ado, here are 100 Questions to Ask Your Spouse. The list is split up into categories, like questions to get to know your partner better and fun questions to ask your spouse, so there’s a little something for everyone.
I suggest writing the questions on slips of paper and then drawing them out at random. That way, you never know what question is coming next, and you’ll have a good mix of funny, deep, and intimate questions.
Questions to Get to Know Your Partner Better
What is one thing that you wish you did better?
Were you ever sent to the principal’s office as a kid? If so, why?
What is your most embarrassing moment?
What does your dream day in retirement look like?
What is one thing that you wish you knew how to do?
If a genie granted you 3 wishes, what would you wish for?
If you could switch places with one person for a day, who would it be and why?
If you could only keep 5 of your Facebook friends, who would they be?
What is your favorite tradition from your childhood?
What is the best gift you’ve ever received?
Do you have a personal motto that you live by?
If you could have dinner with one person, who would it be and why?
What is the kindest thing you have ever done for someone?
What physical feature of yours makes you the most self-conscious?
If you could pick any job in the world to do, what would it be (if $ wasn’t a factor)?
Where do you want to be buried when you die? Or where do you want your ashes scattered?
Describe yourself in three words.
Describe me in three words.
What did you want to be when you were a child?
What is your happiest childhood memory?
What would you say is your biggest strength?
Biggest weakness?
When are you the happiest?
What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
What has been your favorite memory of our time together?
Deep Questions to Ask Your Partner
If you could live one day over and over again for the rest of your life, which day would it be and why?
What is your biggest fear in life?
What is your biggest regret?
What is your biggest secret?
What made you first fall in love with me?
When is the last time you cried and why?
What do you love most about me?
How do I make you a better person?
How do you think you make me a better person?
What is one thing that you’ve done that you would never want printed in the newspaper for the world to see?
What do you want your legacy to be? What do you want people to remember about you?
What is one thing that you wish you could change about your physical appearance?
What is one thing that you would change about your personality?
Intimate Questions for Couples
What physical feature do you love most about me?
Your t-shirt or lingerie? Which do I look sexiest in? (For Wives)
Suit, jeans, or sweats? Which do I look sexiest in? (For Husbands)
Favorite sexual position? You can’t say “all of them”.
What is your favorite part of your body for me to touch?
What is one thing you would change about our sex life?
One thing that you want to try in the bedroom that we haven’t done yet?
What is your wildest fantasy?
Questions to Improve Your Relationship
If I had to cook one meal for you for the rest of our lives, what would you want it to be?
What is the one thing you wish I did differently as a Mom/Dad?
What is the one thing that I do that drives you the most nuts?
When do you feel most loved?
What is one present that I’ve given you that you secretly hated?
What are two things I can do to make you feel more loved?
What stresses you out the most?
What do you want for us in 5 years?
10 years?
20 years?
What is one household chore that you wish you never had to do again?
What would happen if one of us dies?
What can I do for you to make your life easier?
*Looking for more fun questions for couples? Check out my HUGE list of Would You Rather Questions for Couples like the question cards below:
Fun Questions to Ask Your Spouse
If you were a stripper, what would your stripper name be?
If we could live anywhere else on Earth, where would it be?
What is the one nightmare you remember from your childhood?
What is the #1 thing on your bucket list?
If you could only use 2 beauty/toiletry products for the rest of your life, what would they be?
If we could do one home remodeling project, what would you want to do?
If the house was on fire and you could save only 3 things (pets and family members not included), what would you save?
If you could choose your own name, what would you choose?
If you had to sing karaoke, what song would you choose?
Where would you want to go on vacation (if $ wasn’t a factor)?
What was the first concert you ever went to?
What are the 3 items you would want if you were trapped on a deserted island (no boats/flair guns allowed!)?
Who is your celebrity crush?
Someone gives you $1,000, what do you do with it?
$100,000?
$1,000,000?
What actor would you want to play you in a movie?
What is your hidden talent?
If you could trade places with one character from a TV sitcom, who would it be?
If our marriage was a country song, what would the title be?
What is the weirdest food you’ve ever eaten? Did you like it?
What is the best dream that you’ve had recently?
If you were forced to get a tattoo, what would it be?
If you had to drink one beverage for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Favorite Things Questions for Couples
What is your all-time favorite song?
What is your favorite fair food?
Favorite dessert?
Favorite pizza restaurant?
What is your dream car?
What is your favorite cereal?
What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Who is your all-time favorite sports team?
Favorite fruit?
Of all of the restaurants that we’ve been to together, which is your favorite?
What is your favorite way for me to style my hair?
Your favorite Halloween costume from childhood?
Favorite vegetable?
Favorite movie?
Favorite subject in school?
What is your favorite movie snack?
Who is your favorite TV character?
What is your favorite thing to do on a date?
What is your favorite part of the day?
Who was your favorite teacher in school, and why?
Whew! You made it through the list! How was it? Did you learn anything new about your spouse? Wasn’t the conversation much better than “How was your day?”.
Printable List of Questions to Ask Your Spouse
Want to grab the handy printable version of these Questions to Ask Your Spouse? Just click the link below to download the list of 100 questions for couples to use on your next date night!
The list of questions is in “paper slip” form, so you can cut them out and add them to a jar to make your own Conversation Starters Game! Easy-peasy!
Click HERE for the FREE Printable List of Questions to Ask Your Spouse
Conversation Starter Cards for Couples
Want even more questions to ask your spouse on date nights and road trips? Then check out my conversation cards for couples! These cards contain:
- 90 Deep and Meaningful Conversation Topics
- 45 Lighter and Fun Questions to Ask Your Spouse
You can check out these Printable Question Cards HERE!
Thanks for visiting, and be sure to PIN this page so you can use these questions for your next date night!
And check out some of my other relationship and marriage posts:
- 100 Reasons Why I Love You (Steal My List of Ideas!)
- Reasons Why I Love You Gift Box with Photos – Printable Template!
- 100 Good Morning Messages for Him – Texts to Make Him Smile!
Comments & Reviews
It’s amazing how after a couple of years it begins to feel as if you’ve said it all and there’s nothing left to say.
Great ideas!
I was going to read this thinking, “These are going to be great.” If you do not know your husband’s (or wife’s) favorite foods or if they want to be buried or cremated, etc. then you have a problem not knowing your spouse! That being said, some of the others are good-after being married for so long (30 years next week) you do need to find “something” to talk about other than the kids, work, insane relatives, etc.
love it🥰
Can’t wait to try these questions!
Awesome! I hope you enjoy them, Judy! 🙂
Scam
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Can’t get legit followers?
Hi Shanna! My email service shows that the email was sent… Maybe check your spam folder? I will go ahead and send you the file directly too, just in case. Sorry for the inconvenience! 🙂
Thank you so much !
I have been married for 23 years and even though we have been through an awful lot together. It is still the most difficult thing to talk with him. He’s rigid and not talkative at all. Even though he’s been like this our whole time together I still wish he was more outgoing and spontaneous. Most times we have a very difficult time just talking about casual things. Not sure if we will make it to the retirement years??? Comments ?
I don’t know but maybe my “5 cents “ will help.
Maybe you should be more spontaneous, maybe he get used to for you taking initiative. Make YOUR life interesting, colorful, love yourself, he remembers you the way he met you. It’s should be willingness from both sides, but you can started.
I have been married 41 years, get to the point I just tired to be the bell of the house, I got quite. He met another “bell” at work, and started following. I thought we were solid. We talked about our feelings first time in years, it was hard but helpful for both. Now, we are getting closer together again. We love each other and don’t want to drift apart.
Social media has been the biggest problem in my relationship with my boyfriend. What if he’s the one with the cell phone and acts like he doesn’t want to listen?
Hi Silvia! Yes, social media is nice for keeping us connected with loved ones and friends… but many times it shifts our focus from the people that are right next to us. If your boyfriend always has his face buried in his phone, then try to do some things together that are difficult to do with a phone in your hand. You could cook a yummy meal together, go for a walk around a local trail, play board games, etc. I also think that communication is super important, so let him know that you feel like he’s more interested in the strangers on his social media feed than YOU. Maybe even set some “rules” for when phone use is okay and when it’s not… like no phones when you’re eating meals together. Hope that helps! Good luck! 🙂
So many of these are closed questions. I was expecting questions that would generate conversation. (Favourite cereal??)
I tried to mix in some fun and offbeat questions, too. 🙂 I truly have FUN with my husband, and we don’t take each other too seriously. I think it’s important in a marriage to have the serious conversations AND the light ones. And sometimes getting clarification on simple things like his favorite cereal, can lead to simple acts of kindness… like buying that cereal the next time you’re at the store. Thanks so much for your comment!
Hi how do I get the pass out of my wife’s head I was not a very good boyfriend at the time and she can’t get rid of the thoughts in her head it’s been 11 years I’m not that guy anymore I have been faithful in or marriage thanks
So I haven’t tried these with my wife but just reading them I feel a lot of them are very open and can lead to great discussion. Even the cereal question could lead to memories of talking about why it’s their favorite cereal and maybe fond memories they had at breakfast time with family members eating it.
Very lovely post. Couples need to bond at all time. I will try these questions with my husband. Thanks for this.
I got a pdf sent to me foe meal planning and I was hoping for the pdf for a 100 questions to ask my spouse
Oh no! Thanks for bringing that to my attention… I’ve fixed it in my emails, and I’m sending you the correct PDF now! 🙂