This huge list of questions to ask your spouse is great if you want to reconnect, improve your intimacy, get to know your partner better, or you just want to pass the time on a road trip. Use these questions for married couples as prompts to spark some fun conversation with your husband or wife!
Questions for Married Couples
If you’ve been married for over a decade, or if you’ve been with your partner for a handful of years, then you may feel like you’ve run out of things to talk about.
You already know each other’s favorite ice cream flavor, and you’ve already discussed your family trees. You know how to make each other feel loved, and you’ve discussed how each of you prefer to spend date night.
So maybe the conversations are now very surface-level. Like, “Will the kids’ soccer game get rained out this weekend?” or “Who is picking up the dry cleaning?”.
Yup, mundane conversation can lead to feelings of boredom in marriage, or even worse, the feeling that your partner just doesn’t care enough to seek out your opinion or to truly understand you.
Hopes, dreams, worries, insecurities… you should talk about it all! And this huge list of questions for couples can help!
Ideas for Using the List of Questions
Wondering how to use this list of questions for married couples? Here are a few ideas:
- Use the list as pillow talk questions. Pick 1 or 2 questions to discuss each night as you’re laying in bed before you turn out the lights – much better than scrolling through social media and ignoring your spouse at bedtime!
- Tuck the list of questions in your purse and bring them out when you’re on a dinner date.
- Use the questions to pass the time on a road trip.
- Each of you draw 20 of the question cards at random and play “20 Questions” for a stay at home date night.
- Draw one question each night when you get in bed, and use them as pillow talk questions.
- Make a “Pick a Question” Jar. Print the list of questions for couples at the end of this post, cut them out, and glue them to large craft sticks for a fun game when you have 10 minutes here or there.
Deeper Questions to Get to Know Your Partner Better
- What is one thing that you wish you did better?
- Were you ever sent to the principal’s office as a kid? If so, why?
- What is your most embarrassing moment?
- What does your dream day in retirement look like?
- What is one thing that you wish you knew how to do?
- If a genie granted you 3 wishes, what would you wish for?
- If you could switch places with one person for a day, who would it be and why?
- If you could only keep 5 of your Facebook friends, who would they be?
- What is your favorite tradition from your childhood?
- What is the best gift you’ve ever received?
- Do you feel like you’ve changed since we first met?
- Do you have a personal motto that you live by?
- If you could have dinner with one person, who would it be and why?
- If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would tell your younger self?
- What is the kindest thing you have ever done for someone?
- What physical feature of yours makes you the most self-conscious?
- If you could pick any job in the world to do, what would it be (if $ wasn’t a factor)?
- Where do you want to be buried when you die? Or where do you want your ashes scattered?
- Describe yourself in three words.
- What do you think is the most important issue facing our country today?
- What’s your idea of a perfect weekend together?
- What is one habit that you’re trying to break or develop?
- What is one class that you think should be mandatory for all students – what is taught in the class?
- How did your parents’ relationship influence your views on love and marriage?
- Describe me in three words.
- What did you want to be when you were a child?
- How do you think your upbringing has affected our relationship?
- What is your happiest childhood memory?
- What would you say is your biggest strength?
- Biggest weakness?
- When are you the happiest?
- What’s one lesson you learned growing up that you still live by today?
- What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
- What has been your favorite memory of our time together?
Thought-Provoking Questions to Ask Your Spouse
- If you could live one day over and over again for the rest of your life, which day would it be and why?
- What is your biggest fear in life?
- What is your biggest regret?
- What is your biggest secret?
- What would you say are your 3 core values in life?
- Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
- What made you first fall in love with me?
- When is the last time you cried and why?
- Who is one person, not related to you, that had a significant impact on your life? And why?
- What’s the hardest lesson that you’ve ever had to learn?
- What lessons have you learned from past relationships?
- Of all of your achievements, what are you most proud of?
- If life is a game, what are the rules?
- What do you love most about me?
- How do I make you a better person?
- Have you ever had a falling out with someone? What did you learn from that experience?
- Have you ever had a life-changing epiphany? What was it?
- What is something that you strongly believe in that most people probably disagree with?
- Do you believe that soulmates exist?
- What’s one thing that you’re excited about for the future?
- Do you believe in love at first sight?
- Do you believe that people are inherently good or bad?
- How do you think you make me a better person?
- What is one thing that you’ve done that you would never want printed in the newspaper for the world to see?
- What do you want your legacy to be? What do you want people to remember about you?
- What is one thing that you wish you could change about your physical appearance?
- What is one thing that you would change about your personality?
Intimate Questions to Ask Your Spouse
- What’s your favorite way to unwind together after a long day?
- What physical feature do you love most about me?
- Your t-shirt or lingerie? Which do I look sexiest in? (For Wives)
- Suit, jeans, or sweats? Which do I look sexiest in? (For Husbands)
- Favorite sexual position? You can’t say “all of them”.
- What is your favorite part of your body for me to touch?
- What is one thing you would change about our sex life?
- What’s your favorite way to be physically affectionate with me?
- One thing that you want to try in the bedroom that we haven’t done yet?
- What is your wildest fantasy?
- What makes you feel most desired by me?
- What’s one thing that I do that instantly puts you in the mood?
- Do you feel we have enough physical intimacy?
- What’s something I can do to make you more physically attracted to me?
Questions to Strengthen Your Relationship
- What are 2 things you love about our relationship?
- If I had to cook one meal for you for the rest of our lives, what would you want it to be?
- What is the one thing you wish I did differently as a Mom/Dad?
- What is the one thing that I do that drives you the most nuts?
- What’s one thing you think we should do more often as a couple?
- What made you first fall in love with me?
- What’s something you need from me but have never asked for?
- What’s one way that I can be a better partner to you?
- What’s one thing that makes you feel emotionally safe with me?
- When do you feel most loved?
- What is one present that I’ve given you that you secretly hated?
- What are 3 things we can do to maintain a strong relationship in the future?
- What are two things I can do to make you feel more loved?
- What stresses you out the most?
- Based on our relationship, what is the best piece of advice you would give to our kids before they get married?
- How do you think we’ve grown as a couple over the years?
- How can we make our communication even stronger?
- What’s a fear or insecurity that you’ve never shared with me?
- What do you want for us in 5 years?
- 10 years?
- 20 years?
- What is one household chore that you wish you never had to do again?
- What would happen if one of us dies?
- What can I do for you to make your life easier?
Fun Questions to Ask Your Spouse
- What’s something that we’ve never done together that you want to try?
- What is one clothing trend you wish would come back in style?
- What is one current clothing trend you can’t wait to see gone?
- If we could live anywhere else on Earth, where would it be?
- What is the one nightmare you remember from your childhood?
- What is the #1 thing on your bucket list?
- If you could only use 2 beauty/toiletry products for the rest of your life, what would they be?
- If we could do one home remodeling project, what would you want to do?
- If the house was on fire and you could save only 3 things (pets and family members not included), what would you save?
- If we left tomorrow for a spontaneous trip, where would we go?
- If you could instantly learn a new language, what would it be?
- If you could choose your own name, what would you choose?
- If you had to sing karaoke, what song would you choose?
- What do you think is the most fun we’ve ever had together?
- Where would you want to go on vacation (if $ wasn’t a factor)?
- What was the first concert you ever went to?
- What are the 3 items you would want if you were trapped on a deserted island (no boats/flair guns allowed!)?
- Who is your celebrity crush?
- If you could live forever, would you want to? Why or why not?
- Someone gives you $1,000, what do you do with it?
- $100,000?
- $1,000,000?
- What actor would you want to play you in a movie?
- What is your hidden talent?
- If you could trade places with one character from a TV sitcom, who would it be?
- If our marriage was a country song, what would the title be?
- What is the weirdest food you’ve ever eaten? Did you like it?
- What is the best dream that you’ve had recently?
- If you were forced to get a tattoo, what would it be?
- If you had to drink one beverage for the rest of your life, what would it be?
*By the way, if you want another fun questions idea to use with your spouse, check out my Not So Newlywed Game questions (like the one below)! This printable game is a fantastic way to spend an at-home date night with your hubby, or to play with a group of friends!
Favorite Things Questions for Couples
- What is your all-time favorite song?
- What is your favorite fair food?
- Favorite dessert?
- Favorite pizza restaurant?
- What is your dream car?
- What is your favorite cereal?
- What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
- Who is your all-time favorite sports team?
- What is your favorite place to visit during the summer?
- What is your favorite memory of our relationship?
- What are your top 2 favorite books?
- Favorite fruit?
- Of all of the restaurants that we’ve been to together, which is your favorite?
- What is your favorite way for me to style my hair?
- What is your favorite childhood memory?
- Your favorite Halloween costume from childhood?
- Favorite vegetable?
- Favorite movie?
- Favorite subject in school?
- What is your favorite movie snack?
- Who is your favorite TV character?
- What is your favorite thing to do on a date?
- What is your favorite part of the day?
- Who was your favorite teacher in school, and why?
Why Married Couples Should Ask Each Other Questions
- Asking questions shows that your relationship is a priority. – Time is probably your biggest asset, and when you choose to spend your time having meaningful conversations with your spouse, it shows that you’re putting your relationship high on your list of priorities.
- Talking about new things opens the lines of communication. – Asking your husband or wife questions like these can help you improve your communication because you don’t have to fumble for what to say next… let the list of questions guide your conversation, and you’ll eventually get to the point that you’re more comfortable discussing a wide variety of topics.
- Asking these questions for couples keeps things fresh. – Asking your partner some of these questions can help you learn more about each other, including how you can be a better wife and improve your marriage. And you’ll probably even learn some things about your spouse that you never knew before… even if you’ve been married for decades!
Tips for Using these Questions for Couples
Try to focus on each other. Don’t think about what’s for dinner, or how you can’t wait to turn on the TV later and catch up on The Bachelor. For the biggest impact, try to focus on the conversation at hand. Plus, you’ll probably learn lots of helpful things that can improve your marriage like how to make your husband feel more loved.
Draw out random questions. I suggest writing the questions on slips of paper and then drawing them out at random. That way, you never know what question is coming next, and you’ll have a good mix of funny, deep, and intimate questions.
Be supportive. Some of these questions are tough, especially if you and your spouse disagree on a topic. Don’t get into an argument if your spouse doesn’t answer a question the way that you want him to. Instead be supportive and understanding.
Have fun. Yes, some of the questions are meant to strengthen your relationship and help you learn about your husband’s preferences in your marriage. But some of them are just FUN.
Put down your cell phones! Nothing kills a good conversation like a cell phone. In fact, according to sociologist Sherry Turkle, “Eighty-nine percent of Americans say that during their last social interaction, they took out a phone, and 82 percent said that it deteriorated the conversation they were in.” Greater Good Magazine
Don’t get defensive. You may talk about things that are personal, like what you do that drives your partner absolutely batty, but don’t get defensive. Remember this… he still LOVES you.
*Looking for more fun questions for couples? Check out my HUGE list of Would You Rather Questions for Couples like the question cards below:
Printable List of Questions to Ask Your Spouse
Want to grab the handy printable version of these Questions to Ask Your Spouse? Just click the link below to download the list of questions for couples to use on your next date night! Asking each other questions like these is a great way to spend quality time together!
The list of questions is in “paper slip” form, so you can cut them out and add them to a jar to make your own Conversation Starters Game! Easy-peasy!
Click HERE for the FREE Printable List of Questions to Ask Your Spouse
Want even more questions to ask your spouse on date nights and road trips? Then check out my conversation cards for couples! These cards contain 90 Deep and Meaningful Conversation Starters and 45 lighter and fun Questions to Ask Your Spouse!
You can check out these Printable Question Cards HERE!
Thanks for visiting, and be sure to PIN this page so you can use these questions for your next date night!
And check out some of my other relationship and marriage posts:
LOVE IT!!!
It’s amazing how after a couple of years it begins to feel as if you’ve said it all and there’s nothing left to say.
Great ideas!
I was going to read this thinking, “These are going to be great.” If you do not know your husband’s (or wife’s) favorite foods or if they want to be buried or cremated, etc. then you have a problem not knowing your spouse! That being said, some of the others are good-after being married for so long (30 years next week) you do need to find “something” to talk about other than the kids, work, insane relatives, etc.
love it🥰
Can’t wait to try these questions!
Awesome! I hope you enjoy them, Judy! 🙂
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Hi Shanna! My email service shows that the email was sent… Maybe check your spam folder? I will go ahead and send you the file directly too, just in case. Sorry for the inconvenience! 🙂
Thank you so much !
I have been married for 23 years and even though we have been through an awful lot together. It is still the most difficult thing to talk with him. He’s rigid and not talkative at all. Even though he’s been like this our whole time together I still wish he was more outgoing and spontaneous. Most times we have a very difficult time just talking about casual things. Not sure if we will make it to the retirement years??? Comments ?
I don’t know but maybe my “5 cents “ will help.
Maybe you should be more spontaneous, maybe he get used to for you taking initiative. Make YOUR life interesting, colorful, love yourself, he remembers you the way he met you. It’s should be willingness from both sides, but you can started.
I have been married 41 years, get to the point I just tired to be the bell of the house, I got quite. He met another “bell” at work, and started following. I thought we were solid. We talked about our feelings first time in years, it was hard but helpful for both. Now, we are getting closer together again. We love each other and don’t want to drift apart.
Social media has been the biggest problem in my relationship with my boyfriend. What if he’s the one with the cell phone and acts like he doesn’t want to listen?
Hi Silvia! Yes, social media is nice for keeping us connected with loved ones and friends… but many times it shifts our focus from the people that are right next to us. If your boyfriend always has his face buried in his phone, then try to do some things together that are difficult to do with a phone in your hand. You could cook a yummy meal together, go for a walk around a local trail, play board games, etc. I also think that communication is super important, so let him know that you feel like he’s more interested in the strangers on his social media feed than YOU. Maybe even set some “rules” for when phone use is okay and when it’s not… like no phones when you’re eating meals together. Hope that helps! Good luck! 🙂
So many of these are closed questions. I was expecting questions that would generate conversation. (Favourite cereal??)
I tried to mix in some fun and offbeat questions, too. 🙂 I truly have FUN with my husband, and we don’t take each other too seriously. I think it’s important in a marriage to have the serious conversations AND the light ones. And sometimes getting clarification on simple things like his favorite cereal, can lead to simple acts of kindness… like buying that cereal the next time you’re at the store. Thanks so much for your comment!
Hi how do I get the pass out of my wife’s head I was not a very good boyfriend at the time and she can’t get rid of the thoughts in her head it’s been 11 years I’m not that guy anymore I have been faithful in or marriage thanks
So I haven’t tried these with my wife but just reading them I feel a lot of them are very open and can lead to great discussion. Even the cereal question could lead to memories of talking about why it’s their favorite cereal and maybe fond memories they had at breakfast time with family members eating it.
Very lovely post. Couples need to bond at all time. I will try these questions with my husband. Thanks for this.
I got a pdf sent to me foe meal planning and I was hoping for the pdf for a 100 questions to ask my spouse
Oh no! Thanks for bringing that to my attention… I’ve fixed it in my emails, and I’m sending you the correct PDF now! 🙂