How to Be a Better Wife – 11 Tips from a Wife with a Happy Husband

Want to know how to be a better wife? Follow these tips to show your husband that you’re awesome!

My husband is happy.

I’m the farthest thing from a trophy wife that you can imagine, so it’s NOT because I always look flawless or because he comes home every night to a gourmet, home-cooked meal.

I actually wear sweatpants most days, ALWAYS have my hair in a messy bun, and pretty much only shave my legs 3 times a month. And let’s just say that the last time I REALLY tried to cook him a gourmet surprise meal (16 years ago!), he ended up vomiting violently in my dorm room bathtub from food poisoning.

True story.

But my husband would tell you, whole-heartedly, that he’s happily married anyway.

Why? Because I’ve tried to live by these tips for how to be a better wife… and since we’ve been married for 14+ years, I’d say this marriage advice is working out pretty well for us.

If you want to up your “wife game” too, then here are my best tips for how to be a better wife:

Don’t nag.

I’m putting this tip for how to be a better wife FIRST, because this is probably one my husband’s favorite things about me…. I don’t NAG.

Merriam-Webster defines nagging as

persistently annoying or finding fault with someone

Merriam-Webster

But I define nagging as the quickest way to an unhappy spouse.

Be his biggest cheerleader.

When he needs encouragement, cheer him on. When he succeeds at something, cheer him on. When he actually manages to put his dirty socks in the laundry hamper, cheer him on. (Haha, just kidding!).

But the point is, as a wife YOU should be your husband’s biggest encourager. You should let him know that you’re proud of him, and you should motivate him to push through whatever challenges he is facing.

My husband played softball in a recreational league a few years back, and I was at every game chanting “Go, Boogie, Go, Boogie, Go!”. I even made signs, pet name and all, because that’s how our marriage is… fun and light-hearted and not ashamed of using our pet names in public.

So whether you’re actually cheering for him during his adult rec league game, or cheering for his team to win the fantasy football draft, or cheering for him as he preps for a big work pitch, be there nudging him on and encouraging him every step of the way.

*This post contains affiliate links, which means if you click a link and make a purchase, I earn a commission at no additional cost to you. Read my full disclosure here.

Know his Love Language.

If you’re familiar with the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, then you know that there are five main ways to express love. Some people feel more loved when you give them gifts, while others feel more loved when you spend quality time with them.

If you don’t know your husband’s Love Language, then have him take the free online quiz here. Then, head over to this post for 50 Awesome Ways to Make Your Husband Feel Loved Based on His Love Language.

Do things to make his life easier.

This is one of the tips that we learned in our pre-marital counseling 14 years ago, and it’s also one of my BEST pieces of marriage advice!

It’s so easy to get selfish in a marriage, and to feel like YOU need more help with the housework or YOU need to feel more loved or YOU feel bored in your marriage.

But instead of focusing on YOU, focus on HIM.

Think about what you can do to make your husband’s life easier, and take some of the stress or pressure off of him…

Can you make his lunch for him so it’s ready when he goes to work the next day?

Can you pack his gym bag so he just has to grab it and go?

Can you fill his car up with gas when you take it out for an errand?

These are all great ways to be a better wife that require minimal effort on your part.

Show that you love him with thoughtful gestures.

Surprise lunches, cute text messages, having his favorite take-out waiting on him when he gets home… there are SO many small ways that you can show your husband you love him!

I’ve got 50 Ways to Show Your Husband Love Based on His Love Language right here!

Or, check out my 30 Day “Deed a Day” Challenge to grab this printable calendar with easy ideas for nice things to do for your husband!

Make him laugh.

Send him a funny text message like this one… told you my hair is always in a bun:

Or leave him one of these funny and flirty love notes:

Life can get tough, which can also put strain on a marriage, so it’s important to keep your relationship light and fun!

To be a better wife you need to LISTEN.

Stop doing dishes. Stop scrolling through Instagram. Stop folding laundry.

When your husband is actually communicating with you, then stop what you’re doing and LISTEN.

Many self-help books claim that men speak an average of 7,000 words a day. That sounds like a lot, until you read on to discover that women speak 20,000 words a day, on average, or almost 3 times as much.

So, if your husband is telling you something (and he’s normally a man of fewer words), then give him your undivided attention. And if you feel like you’re always too busy trying to mentally scroll through your to-do list, then go grab this FREE Brain Dump Template, and learn why you need to do a brain dump to clear your mind!

Don’t compare your marriage to others.

With social media being such a big part of our lives today, it’s easy to scroll through your Instagram or Facebook feed and see picture after picture of your married friends hanging out on the beach, or having fun at an amusement park, or eating a giant ice cream cone at the fancy new ice cream shop that just opened.

And it’s also easy to feel like your own marriage is somehow boring or flawed because you and your husband aren’t always out having an adventure worthy of 10,000 “likes”.

The picture-perfect marriages of social media can give you an unrealistic expectation of what marriage is, and those expectations can put strain on your relationship.

Don’t pick fights over little things.

This is another important tip for how to be a better wife, and it can be difficult at times…

My husband pees on the seat all the time. He actually gets up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night without turning on any lights, and he knows that he’s hit the toilet when he hears the water splash. Another true story.

His in-the-dark aim has gotten better over the years, but I still sometimes wake up to a sprinkled toilet seat. Is pee on the seat going to be the end of our marriage? NOPE. Because all I have to do is grab a few squares of toilet paper and wipe it up.

It takes 5 seconds of my time… so is something so insignificant worth risking 15 years of marriage? For me, it’s not.

“Pick and choose your battles wisely, and you’ll never start a war.”

Amy @ The Savvy Sparrow

Thank God for your husband and your marriage.

This is something that I do on a regular basis, because I feel so blessed to have such a happy marriage. If you practice gratitude and you recognize what a blessing your husband is in your life, then you’re more likely to exhibit your appreciation for him on the outside as well.

And everyone wants to be appreciated, right?!

How to be a better wife? Compromise!

Just like The Rolling Stones song says, “You can’t always get what you want”, especially in marriage when there are TWO of you and you may want something different than your husband.

From small, everyday things that require compromise like what movie to watch or what restaurant to eat at, to bigger choices like what car to buy, you need to be open to talking it out and coming to a mutually agreed upon decision.

If you insist on always getting your way, your husband could feel railroaded and like he doesn’t have a say in your relationship.

What are your tips for how to be a better wife?

I do think I’m a pretty darn good wife… not to sound cocky! But, I also know that there are plenty of ways that I can be an even better wife. For instance, I’m sure my husband wouldn’t protest if I shaved my legs more frequently. 🙂

What are some of the things that you do to be a GREAT wife for your husband? Give me the details! I’m always looking for new ways to show my husband that I appreciate him.

Leave me a comment down below.

And happy nesting!