These conversation starters for couples are great for date night or road trips. Grab the printable list of deep conversation topics and enjoy some quality time connecting with your significant other.
Fun fact… My husband and I started dating in high school. He was a Senior and I was a Junior, and we both fell HARD!
In the first few weeks of our relationship, we would talk on the phone for about 4 hours every single night, getting to learn about each other and talking about whatever high schoolers in the early 2000’s talked about… probably exchanging AIM screen names and discussing what new ring tones we should download to our Nokia cell phones. Am I aging myself?!
But my point is… if there’s ONE thing that has made our marriage SUPER strong over the past 14 years, it’s our ability to communicate! We can, and DO, talk about anything and everything… and it’s definitely brought us closer together over the years.
But if you’re not used to communicating openly with your spouse, then deep conversations can be difficult, from the awkwardness of bringing up difficult topics to the tensions that result from different viewpoints. But, the “tough” questions still need to be asked, and couples need to have open conversations to grow closer and sustain healthy relationships.
If you need help in the communication department, then conversation starters for couples can help!
Why Conversation Starters are a Good Idea
Conversation starters for couples aren’t just for new couples on their first date! Yes, first dates may be awkward and a small deck of conversation cards can relieve some of the pressure of constantly having to think about what to say. But, deep conversation starters are also beneficial for married couples, and even those that have been married for decades!
Here are some of the benefits of using conversation starters in your relationship:
Conversation starters can bring life back to a boring relationship.
If you’ve been in a relationship for a while, the conversations can start to turn… well… a bit boring. If you feel like you’re in a boring marriage then read this: Boring Marriage? 13 Ideas to Refresh Boring Married Life!
From small talk about the weather forecast for the upcoming weekend to running logistics on your kids’ schedules, communication in a marriage or long term relationship can feel pretty mundane.
In fact, after you’ve been married for years and years, maybe your “conversations” aren’t really conversations at all…
Merriam-Webster defines conversation as an:
“oral exchange of sentiments, observations, opinions, or ideas”Merriam-Webster
Telling your husband that your kids have a birthday party to go to this weekend and him answering with an “mmm-kay” is hardly an exchange.
But these deep conversation topics for couples require a back and forth… true communication.
Conversation starters can help you ask the “tough” questions without some of the awkwardness.
Let’s face it… certain deep topics about personal beliefs or the state of your relationship can be awkward. Even if you’ve been married for years, you may not feel comfortable asking your husband about your sex life or your family finances.
Or, if you’re in a newer relationship, you may feel shy asking the important questions… questions that SHOULD be asked in a relationship.
Rather than just bringing up the “hard” questions out of the blue, you can randomly select conversation topics to discuss from a list of conversation starters for couples. That way, it’s not really YOU that’s bringing it up… it’s just the “luck of the draw”.
Conversation starters for couples are a great way to build intimacy.
According to Psychology Today, most people in serious relationships say that “feeling connected” is the #1 goal of communication.
And if you’ve been married for a while, or you’re in a long-term relationship, then the conversations often start to lack the “intimate” factor. Like, what’s intimate about asking your husband to pick up milk on the way home or telling him that he’s got a dentist appointment on Monday?
If the conversations that you have with your spouse are the same ones you would have with a work colleague or your kids’ teacher, then there’s no intimacy involved.
What’s the weather going to be this weekend?
When is the parent-teacher conference?
What should we have for dinner?
These conversation topics, while necessary to plan your daily life, do nothing to bring you closer together as a couple.
But deep conversation starters for couples can lead to GREAT conversations that DO foster intimate connections!
Deep conversation starters are informative.
Do you know what your husband values MOST or when he feels the most loved? Do you know what his big life goals are and how you as a couple can work to achieve them?
This is all important information to have, and these conversation starters can help you find out the answers!
When to Use these Deep Conversation Topics for Couples
These conversation starters for couples are great for pretty much any time that you’re with your significant other and you want to connect on a deeper level. Here are some scenarios that are perfect for this list of conversation starters:
- Date night – Take out a small deck of conversation starters cards and draw one while you’re waiting on your entrees.
- Road trips – Take turn answering questions at random.
- Laying in bed at night – You could keep a list of conversation starters for couples in your nightstand, and then when you get in bed, discuss one or two.
- Taking a walk – A walk around your neighborhood with your spouse is a great way to reconnect, and talk without distractions. Have a few of these conversation starters picked out before you leave the house to keep the conversation flowing.
- In the shower – My husband and I take a shower together every single night… and we have some of our best conversations in the shower. In fact, showering together is one of my 10 best marriage tips! Think about it… you can’t take your phone in the shower, or be distracted by the tv, so it’s the perfect time to talk and reconnect at the end of the day.
- While you’re cooking dinner together – Prepare a great meal AND have a great conversation while you’re doing it… Win win!
- Coffee date – A good cup of coffee and a comfy (and private!) sitting area is the perfect environment for good conversation!
90 Conversation Starters for Couples
Deep Conversation Starters about your Relationship
- If you could change one thing about our relationship, what would it be?
- What can I do to be a better partner?
- What do you think is the most annoying thing about me?
- Do you think we have good communication in our relationship, or do you think we can improve?
- What do you like best about me?
- What do you like the least about me?
- Do you believe in “soulmates” and, if so, do you think that I am your soulmate?
- Are you content with our relationship, as is?
- What do you think your life would be like without me?
- What do you think is the key to a successful relationship?
- Which do you value more in a relationship, comfort or spontaneity?
- What do you think a woman’s role should be in a relationship?
- What do you think a man’s role should be in a relationship?
- What are 3 things that I can do to make you feel more appreciated? You can also head here for Nice Things to Do for Your Husband – A 30 Day Challenge!
- Do you think we spend too much time together, or not enough?
- What is one thing you wish I did differently as a parent?
- Do you think that I’ve made you a better person, and if so, how?
- What has been your favorite memory of our time together?
- What is one thing you would change about our sex life?
- What was the moment that you first knew you loved me?
- What is one thing that can help me know YOU better?
- What do think is your greatest strength in our relationship?
- Is there something that I do that makes you feel disrespected?
- Why do you think I am “the One”?
- Do I have all of the traits that you look for in a partner?
- When we’re apart, how long does it take for you to start missing me?
- What do you think are the 3 most important things in a relationship?
Conversations to Get to Know Each Other Deeper
- What is your favorite gift you’ve ever received, and why was it your favorite?
- What is one thing about your personality that you wish you could change?
- What is the most important life lesson that you’ve learned so far?
- Is there one moment in your life that you consider to be pivotal?
- What is your deepest fear… other than snakes, spiders, etc?
- What person in your life means the most to you, besides a family member?
- What is your biggest weakness?
- What single item is your most treasured possession, and why?
- What are you most grateful for?
- Do you think it’s more important to live in the moment or plan for the future?
- When do you feel the most loved? This is one of the MOST important conversations for couples to have! Check out this post for 50 Ways to Show Your Husband that You Love Him – Based on His Love Language!
- What would you consider to be the biggest mistake you’ve ever made?
- What is the biggest goal you have for yourself?
- When do you feel the most at peace?
- When is the last time you cried, other than at a movie or watching a tv show?
- What is your favorite way to unwind at the end of a long day?
- What is the kindest thing you have ever done for someone?
- What is one of your favorite quotes?
- What do you have to achieve in life for you to feel successful?
- What stresses you out the most?
- Who do you consider to be your best friend, and what character trait do you admire most about him or her?
- What do you want to be your legacy?
- What is your biggest pet peeve?
- What accomplishment are you most proud of?
- How would your best friend describe you?
- Which of the Seven Deadly Sins are you most guilty of?
- What are you most passionate about?
- What are your two “non-negotiables” in a relationship?
- What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done, that you would do again?
- What is the worst advice you’ve ever been given?
- What is the best advice you’ve ever been given?
- What advice would you give to newlyweds?
Conversation Starters About the Future
- What do you want to do after we retire?
- What is one life lesson you hope to pass down to your kids?
- What do you think our life will look like in 5 years?
- What do you think our life will look like in 20 years?
- If we ever get bored in our relationship, or things start to feel mundane, how do you think we should handle it? Go here if you feel like you’re already in a boring relationship: Boring Marriage? 13 Ideas to Refresh Boring Married Life!
- What do you think we can do now to be better prepared for the future?
- If I was not able to have kids, would that be a deal-breaker?
- What is one tradition from your childhood that you want to pass down to our children?
- What is the #1 thing on your bucket list?
- How do you think we should celebrate our next anniversary?
- What are some big decisions that you feel like should always be made together?
- What are your top 3 goals for your future?
- What would your life look like if I were to die before you?
- Do you think that couples who have lost “the spark” can still maintain a healthy relationship?
- Do you think it’s bad for a husband and wife to be best friends?
Hypothetical Questions to Learn More About Each Other
- If you could go back and redo one moment in your life, what would it be and why?
- If we had $1,000 extra each month, what would you want to do with it?
- If you could meet any famous person, who would it be and why?
- If we could go on ANY date, and budget didn’t matter, where would we go?
- If we won $100,000 in the lottery, how would you want to spend it?
- If you could live one day over and over again for the rest of your life, which day would it be?
- What are the 3 items you would want if you were trapped on a deserted island (no boats/flair guns allowed!)?
- If someone were to write a biography about you, what do you hope they would say?
- If you could pick ANY fictional character to change places with, who would you choose and why?
- We see a homeless man and his daughter holding up a sign… Do you stop and give him money or keep driving?
- If I were to start making more money than you, would you feel like less of a man?
- If we had to do one extracurricular activity together everyday for a month, what would it be?
- If a movie was made about our life, what actors would play us?
- Money, power, love, or good looks… which would you choose?
- If you were to lose your job tomorrow, what would you do?
- If you could pick any job in the world to do, and money wasn’t an issue, what would you choose?
Printable Conversation Cards for Couples
You can grab my printable Conversation Starters for Couples HERE!
The PDF comes with 135 conversation topics… the 90 deep conversation topics in this post, plus some other fun questions to ask your spouse! Just print the cards on card stock, cut them out, and tuck them in your purse for the next date night or road trip!
And be sure to check out some of my other posts on marriage:
Comments & Reviews
Many of these questions look like “arguement starters” lol.
Could I please have these questions on email?
this is a very helpful post! Thank you so much! I am a therapist and just shared it with two of my clients who are in need of greater marital emotional intimacy. I think I’ll share it with my husband too 😉
Hi Sally! That’s awesome! Thanks so much for sharing, and I’m glad that you enjoyed the post! 🙂